The Day that Never Was

It has been a long absence since my last post. My apologies. I’ve been busy caring for my sweet baby daughter who is now already four months old, and home schooling the other two kids, among other things. 

But please allow me to share a few thoughts on this special day. 

All year long I've been seeing friends on Facebook who got married the same year I did celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary. I’ve rejoiced with them. And today, on my original anniversary, I am reminded of another thing I never had: ten years with Daniel. During our marriage, we talked so casually about the decades we would have together, looking forward to our seventh, then eighth, then etc. I wondered what it would be like to celebrate ten years with him — what our life would be like. We were planning on having four children by now. We were planning oh, so many things. Yes, of course with the knowledge that God decides, but we were so optimistic that we knew what His plans were. Or at least I was. I don't want to put words in Daniel's mouth.

The truth is I don't know what Daniel thought of not having these milestones to celebrate. Because he was so sick and weak and his dyslexia made communicating by writing so very tiring and difficult, we didn't talk about the non-essentials much. What was essential was what he needed for life and comfort and deliverance from pain. He was so tired. Talking about feelings was a rare luxury. And never did we talk about what it would be like for me to be without him. I was fighting so hard just to care for him, to help him feel safe, to keep him from being overlooked or neglected or wrongfully treated in busy hospitals (though many of the medical personnel did their best). But there was one time after the doctors and ward manager insisted I prepare for the end that I asked Daniel if he thought God would call him home soon. He couldn't even write at this point. He didn't acknowledge me the first time I asked. So I mustered up the courage to ask it again. He stirred. He looked me in the eye with a sorrowful gaze. He signed yes by nodding his fist and blinking. I told him I would miss him oh, so much. He squeezed my hand, blinked again as if to say, “Me too,” and drifted back off to sleep. 

When he was healthy, we had a marriage characterized by a strong emotional bond, sharing our feelings and growing close because of it. It was a skill we learned through much struggle and practice. I think that it why it is even harder to not have had that ability to share much emotionally with him through that time. There was so much that cancer took away even before it claimed his life. 

The other day, a friend asked how I have been doing, especially considering this period of past special events — Daniel’s birthday, Christmas, and our wedding anniversary. I told her it seems to be similar to what some parents say who have lost a child, when people tell them it’ll be okay because they can always have another. Bereft parents say a new child can never replace the one who died. Just because you can marry again after losing your spouse doesn’t mean that new person replaces the one you lost. 

I told my friend that, mingled with the joy of God’s wonderful new blessings for my family and I in giving me David, and now Elspeth, is still the sorrow of what I “lost.” Though rationally I know that I never “had” those things because God never ordained them, emotionally it feels like those dreams and hopes have been taken. 

But in God’s graciousness and compassion, He has given me new hopes and dreams, though perhaps tempered with the sober reminder that:

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man,

    but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”    Proverbs 19:21

And may He always be glorified for it. 

New Life and False Hope

Sorry for the long delay between posts. Not only is family life busier (which is a blessing!), but I've also been slowly processing what it is I'd like to share with you in this post. But first, an exciting announcement!

For those of you not connected to me through Facebook, David and I are thrilled to share that I'm pregnant! I'm currently 18 weeks along, with a due date on Aug 19. It's been really neat to share this experience together thus far. While it's my third child, it's his first biological child. So, as I tell him what to expect (as far as I know!), and he sees me go through various symptoms, I get to experience the process, in a way, for the first time through his eyes. It's pretty cool.

We're so thankful for the way in which the Lord has provided for us -- not only settling us in Chilliwack, which we're still very much enjoying -- but also how he has provided the father my children need, the husband I was praying for, and the family David longed for. No, of course things aren't perfect and we all deal with life's issues and our own sinfulness, but God's incredible redeeming power and provision are truly wondrous. And we watch in wonder as we get to see that every day.

Shortly after Daniel passed away, a friend gave me this orchid. Now after three years, it is finally blooming again.

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Now, you may be wondering why I included "false hope" in my blog title. To start, it's totally unrelated to our previous announcement. That is just the concept I've been contemplating for a very long time -- for at least three years actually! Let me bring you up to speed...

While I've been thinking on this theme in more generalities, and still processing things that happened during Daniel's illness, I haven't really been able to solidify in my mind how to share it with you. And even now, I'm sure I am liable to be unclear. But I'll do my best, so here goes.

What helped me understand what I wanted to say is a conversation I had about a month ago with a dear man from my church (incidentally, he had been reading my blog several years ago but didn't know me, and he never thought he would actually meet me.). His wife is dying from pancreatic cancer. I hadn't gotten a chance to get to know them before that previous Sunday, and I shared with his wife about my story with Daniel's cancer. So her husband wanted to talk with me too.

We had a wonderfully uplifting conversation, especially considering what he was currently going through, supporting his beloved wife. While much of the conversation revolved around the more practical aspects of caring for his wife and navigating the medical landscape, one thing we discussed has stood out to me most -- something this couple has been faced with, and so were Daniel and I:

False hopes are all too common when we are suffering.


Perhaps you think this is quite an obvious observation given our fallen world. Perhaps. But what I've been reflecting on for the past three years off and on is where these false hopes came from and how subtle they sometimes were.

Let me share what some of those false hopes were, so that hopefully you will be better equipped to identify them in your own life, given whatever situation you're in.

False Hopes in the Medical World: 

While our doctors were usually fairly guarded in their promises, sometimes the hope of healing was presented to us to drive us to make a certain decision. After the regular type of chemo wasn't working, our oncologist gave us an option to take part in an experimental study that may or may not have worked. Even the shred of hope she implied could easily have been enough to persuade us to just try it. God later gave us wisdom to not apply, as at least for Daniel's case, chemo was not a good option after he tried it for a few rounds and he felt it was killing him.

Our naturopath, however, was not so guarded. He presented his tinctures as near miracles and boldly claimed Daniel would be healed in five or six months! I'm sure it sounds preposterous to take that kind of claim seriously, and we did meet it with much skepticism. But if you haven't been in such a dire situation like lethal cancer, you may not realize that one can barely escape that desperation to find something to cling to to give you hope. The temptation is so incredibly strong. So while we didn't put much if any faith in his claim, it is something we had to fight.

The next false hope we faced might surprise you. I haven't mentioned it ever on this blog because, frankly, it's controversial and that's not what this blog is about. I will mention it now, however, only in the context of the essential facts.

Daniel took medical cannabis oil* for his pain, based on the recommendation and advising of our Christian doctor. The false hope was that we were to some degree hoping it would also fight the cancer and cure him. Why? Because it was actually working. At least until he had that hyper-calcemia crisis (caused directly by the cancer) at the end of August 2014 or so. He had been on the oil for about six weeks, and not only had it almost completely replaced his high doses of pain medications and fixed all of the side effects from them, but it also appeared to have gotten rid of the countless cancerous lesions the doctors found in his lungs in the PET scan in April, several months before. The new CT scan caused the doctor to officially report there were no more lesions and no other cancer other than the main tumor. And even the tongue cancer was receding, he was gaining his nerve movement back very slowly, and pieces of dead tumor were literally sloughing off before my eyes and the doctor's.

The very next day after all of this progress, Daniel nearly died from that missed pamidronate dose (totally unrelated to the cannabis oil). Because hyper-calcemia causes hallucinations, Daniel had to be physically restrained from pulling out his tracheotomy and suffocating. So, they had to sedate him for two weeks. During that time, he couldn't take the oil orally effectively, and that is when the tumor overtook our efforts to control it and it was too much for the oil to combat after that. Too little, too late essentially.

I tell you all of that to explain another temptation we faced to hope in something other than Christ. While we did acknowledge at the time through the whole process that it was up to God whether He allowed it to work, I know for myself (as I don't know Daniel's exact thoughts because he couldn't talk and never wrote about it) that I still struggled with truly trusting only God. Especially after seeing the evidence of it battling the cancer and the light in Daniel's eyes as he experienced it working, it was a source of false hope. Not because God can't use it to cure cancer, but because it can so easily tempt us to think we're in control and we can provide our own solution.

With any treatment for any disease, it is God and God alone Who determines its effectiveness.

Our job is to be diligent in making wise choices with the treatments that are available to us, leaving the result completely and truly up to God, even if it means accepting the very real possibility we or our loved one will die. We are to submit our wills to His.

False Hopes within the Church:

The other main source of false hope came from what one would think is an unexpected place -- the church. But, you may say, isn't that where our true source comes from? Not quite. Our hope is in Christ, the Author and Head of the church, not fallible human beings who make up its body. Big difference. I'd like to share a few stories of occasions when we were faced with false hopes by undoubtedly very well-meaning people.

An older lady who attended a Bible study I was in tentatively shared with me a word she believed she had received from the Lord. A few months into Daniel's illness when it was becoming clear how serious it was, she said that as she was reading John 11, the account of Lazarus, she said God pointed out the part when Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death..." and told her it applied to Daniel. She meant it to comfort and encourage me, I know that. But in treating the Bible this way, she utterly abused it, and I knew it right then. The Bible isn't something we use as a magical talisman, cherry-picking personal words that make us feel better. It is an improper hermeneutic to rip a portion of Scripture out of context and insist that it applies to you when a plain reading would show you it isn't. She equated her desire and wishful thinking as a word from God. We simply cannot do that and still be faithful to His Word.

Another well-meaning person from my old church texted me and asked my permission to go and pray for Daniel -- so that he could heal him. He said he "felt led" to do that so strongly, he was willing to drive over an hour to the hospital. While I didn't deny him his request, I also knew that there was something wrong with the way he was going about it. If you've read my blogs during that time, you'll know I was and still am fully aware that God can and does heal today. I asked for your prayers to that end. This person, however, gave me the impression that he was trusting more in himself than in God. Lacking a true attitude of humility, he inadvertently communicated false hope -- that his "word from God" was to be trusted more than God Himself.

Furthermore, a good friend of ours told us one day that a man he knew from somewhere in the States had said something quite peculiar to him. This man was apparently considered somewhat like a "prophet" and who received visions and words from God. He told our friend that he had had a dream in which a person with a tongue disease would be healed. But he didn't know anyone with such a rare disease. When our friend heard this, he told the "prophet" that he knew exactly who the dream was about. When he told us about this, he was excited and seemed to be putting his hope in this dream. Again, both people were extremely well-meaning, and our friend was (is) a godly man. But both he and his friend had a very erroneous view of God's revelation. The Bible claims of itself that it is sufficient for all of life and godliness (1 Tim. 3:15-17; Jude 1:3). Christ (the ultimate Author of the Bible) closed the New Testament canon in Rev. 22:18-19 by expressly warning us through John's pen to not add or take away from the revealed Word. Thus, we do not require any further special revelation to lead a God-honouring life. So, when someone claims they received a word from God or a vision or dream, it cannot be considered a new, special revelation from God and therefore does not hold any authority. We must measure any "truth" against the revealed Truth in the Bible. It is our sole standard.

Lastly, an acquaintance of mine implied another type of false hope in how she viewed the Bible. One day from his hospital bed, Daniel shared a verse on Facebook that he was taking comfort in:

Psalm 73:26 -- "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is 

the strength of my heart and my portion forever." 

This lady commented back, taking offense it seemed at Daniel's sharing of this. She exclaimed that he mustn't even admit to the possibility of his heart and flesh failing -- that he needed to declare himself healed, claim his healing, and it would be so! The implication is that if you spoke negatively about your situation, then you would reap suffering and not healing. This is the word of faith heresy, the Christian version of "The Secret," if you remember that awful book. It is not a Christian view of the Bible but a man-worshipping scam. It basically implies that God is our servant and we are in control. If we just say the right things, then we have the power to manipulate God to do what we want. The false hope, of course, is that you're in charge of your destiny. The flip-side is that if you're suffering it's all your fault because you aren't exercising your power to decree and declare prosperity over your life. Do you see not only how heretical that view is, but also how downright offensive it is? Her comment was implying that his suffering was all his fault -- that isn't something she would admit to, but it is the natural conclusion, nonetheless. Daniel and I stared at her response in disbelief, wondering if she even realized the implications of her statement.

 --
 
One of the many ways suffering sanctifies believers in Christ is it weans you from trusting anything or anyone else instead of Jesus. This is what I saw in my own life, and it surprised me. I thought I was a Christian who trusted God fairly thoroughly, but I was utterly humbled during that time (and it's still an ongoing process today). By God's grace, He allowed me to see what and whom I was relying upon instead of Him, as well as the false hopes with which others were trying to comfort us. The process of submitting our wills to God's will is a life-long process, but one that is vital to our maturing in our faith and walk with the Lord. 

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*A clarification of the medical cannabis Daniel was taking: with the large of amounts of misinformation and stigma associated with cannabis, I thought it would be wise to just mention a few things. After our doctor suggested Daniel start taking the oil -- a tar-like concentrate (not smoking it, because that's not a wise way of administering the medicine), I did a huge amount of research on it to become comfortable with the idea. Our doctor advised us, sent us to a reputable source that treated it like medicine, and we were very diligent in administering it. When used for pain and other research-based treatments, it can be very effective. The recreational use of cannabis in any form is utterly foolish and ill-advised, and adds a shameful stigma to an otherwise helpful plant God has created when it is treated as a medicine with wisdom and knowledge.

Basements and Boundaries

So sorry for the long delay since my last post in, what, August? I'm sure some of you have been wondering if this blog is still alive. It is, so no worries.

David and I have just been very occupied with finishing our entire basement -- by ourselves! It's been a pretty steep learning curve, and countless hours from both of us working hard. But we are so glad to finally have it all done! Our unfinished basement was about 1000 sq. ft. so a fair size. We turned it into two extra bedrooms (one a guest room and the other a media room/guest room), along with a large playroom for the kids, as well as a full bathroom. Other than a bit of help with the trim from David's brother-in-law (thanks again, Nathan!), and getting the carpet installed, we did everything. David did the framing, plumbing, electrical (of course!), and resilient channel; then I helped him with sound insulation, drywall, mudding and taping, sanding, priming, painting, trim, caulking, tiling, grouting, installing the bathroom fixtures, and finishing touches! We are thrilled to have that space to share with friends and family, and to have that room for the kids to play and for us all to spend a lot of time together as a family. The other big bonus is that by doing it ourselves (because we were careful to do a proper job and diligent with the details), we tripled our investment with what we saved on labour and the added value to the house.

But enough of all of that. That's just to say where we've been all this time. Otherwise, the fall has been pretty normal. Home schooling, work, and getting more involved with our church has filled the rest of our schedule. David and I also just attended a marriage conference getaway, so that was so nice to spend a lot of time on our own, learning more about each other.

I had a request from a reader to go into more detail about my courtship and engagement with David. This reader had asked specifically about how we set our boundaries and sought to honour each other with our actions. David and I certainly had a less "conventional" relationship, having met through eHarmony and getting to know each other long distance between Saskatchewan and here.

Having those long conversations without physical contact, however, was very helpful. We were able to really focus on learning about each other's heart without the added distraction of physical attraction. David's first visit was just as a friend, and the week ended with us officially defining our relationship. We talked specifically about physical boundaries going forward at that time, as we had only discussed the topic in a general way up until then.

Having been married before, I knew that my physical boundaries would need to be different than they were even with Daniel. Being married changes the meaning of a hug or even holding hands. Daniel and I starting holding hands shortly after we started officially dating, but with David, I knew I needed to save that until later on in our relationship. I also knew I wasn't comfortable kissing each other until we were married, because that definitely meant something different to me given my past. So, we decided that we would side-hug while dating, first hold hands when we got engaged, and our first kiss would be on our wedding day.

And from David's perspective, he was very agreeable to our rather strict guidelines. He had given away more than he was proud of in a previous relationship before he was a Christian, so he saw the value of saving those privileges and investing more meaning into them by waiting. It gave us clarity as we continued to get to know each other, rather than clouding the waters with temptation.

By having those intentional (albeit sometimes awkward) conversations, we worked to be on the same page. And that certainly helped. But just because those decisions were made didn't mean we could be lax in our self-control. We were still careful to be vigilant to continue to live up to our standards and inform the other person if there were any tempting situations the other wasn't aware of. We sought to honour and protect each other by not allowing compromises.

Some may say, wow, that's a lot of unnecessary work! Why not just enjoy yourselves more? The big answer to that question? Because all of that saved connection when planted in the soil of marriage sprouts such connection and bondedness, bringing deeply rooted joy! Sharing our first kiss at the altar was incredibly special and memorable! I am reminded of the various times in the Song of Solomon where the bride cautions the daughters of Jerusalem to not awaken love until it pleases (2:7, 3:5, 8:4). And we know from many other places in the Bible that physical intimacy is to be saved for marriage.

Given our context, we chose to be rather strict in our boundaries. Is that a rule for everyone? No, of course not. Daniel and I, for example (having very little past history relationally) decided to share our first kiss at engagement (my very first, which was extremely special). We were also very intentional in our relationship, just not as strict as David and I were. So, while the specific boundaries will differ from situation to situation, the biblical principle remains the same:

Do not defraud the other person.

What do I mean by that? Not promising the other person something you have no right to give them -- not until you're married. Frankly speaking, if something is arousing, stay far away from it. You should not awaken something in yourself or the other person until it can rightfully be fulfilled in the context of marriage. So, whatever that honestly looks like for any given couple, that is what they need to be faithful to -- before God and each other.

But like I said, it's not just a killjoy rule that God arbitrarily gave us. It truly does produce the most joy -- it just takes work and patience to get there. But it's so worth it! The trust that forms when both people in the relationship seek to put the other first and honour them is a beautiful foundation upon which to build that marriage. And consider this -- should that courtship or engagement not work out (for example, I was in a previous courtship in my early 20's that was answered with a "no" to marriage), if both are careful not to defraud the other person, then there are no regrets. Conversely, giving in to temptation to gratify the flesh, while it seems pleasurable in the moment, leads to deep regret, guilt, and shame, which can be incredibly hard and lengthy to work through.

Yes, we all have failed in this area to some degree or another. Does that mean we've ruined our lives? No. By the grace of God, we can be forgiven and renewed. We need to confess our sin before God and ask for His forgiveness and power to sanctify us. But sometimes there are long-term consequences -- some lasting the rest of our lives -- because we live in a Genesis three world. It is yet another reason we long for a glorified body which He promises to give us one day.

In the meantime, God designed us for pleasure. Thus, He has the right to tell us how to best enjoy it! Trust that He knows what He's talking about and give Him the glory for such an abundant gift!

Playing in the leaves at Cultus Lake, part of David`s childhood memories.

Summer So Far

Well, somehow it's already been more than two months since my last post, and nearly that long in our new home in Chilliwack. Many people have asked me how we like it here. Straight up -- we love it. We feel so very blessed to have such a beautiful house, live in a lovely area, be close to such good friends, and go to a wonderful church.

Since the move, David and I have worked hard at getting settled in our new home, working on projects both big and small. He's currently working on finishing our basement (which is fun for him -- more or less -- being an electrician). We're also thankful he no longer has to commute all the way to North Vancouver (!), as he got a supervisor position with a company in Abbotsford. We spend our time together as a family at Cultus Lake or local trails, or just together at home playing together or letting the kids "help" us with projects and errands.

Of course there have been challenges along with the blessings. It's been a ton of work for me doing all the name changes in the various areas I've needed to, and a lot of waiting. Waiting for the legal certificate, waiting in government office line-ups, waiting for ID to come in the mail, waiting for fixes to people's mistakes, waiting on hold to talk to the right people -- checking off all the items on my list. But it's been worth it. I don't regret making the change so that I could keep Daniel's last name in my name and the kids', but also be Scott's like David. Hyphenating his name into our middle names was the right way to go.

Other challenges have been just getting settled into our married life. I have obviously had to adjust to being married to a different man, and David has had to start learning how to be a husband and father. Big changes for both of us! But by God's grace, we are growing closer, sharing with each other how we're feeling and learning how to better communicate and show love effectively to each other.

The summer isn't over yet! For August we still have Family Camp with David's extended family (an annual tradition), and Josiah gets to attend Day Camp at Timberline for the first time! And it has been so great to see several Maple Ridge friends for visits here already too! So, if you want to come for a visit, let us know!

Moving Day and Memories

Well, I should probably be doing more packing, but while David's at his men's Bible study, I thought I would post an update on how things are going. Yes, we move to Chilliwack in three days!

Having only gotten back from our wonderful honeymoon two and a half weeks ago, it's been a whirlwind! Between arranging movers, renting packing crates, switching utilities, applying for a legal name change, finishing the home schooling year, packing, doing all the legwork for the financial and legal sides of the sale and purchase, and still being a mom to two great kids and a new wife to an amazing husband -- yeah, it's been crazy!

The hardest part seems to be over as of today, with just a few details remaining before we get the keys in a few days. I think now I can finally start to get excited -- it's hard when there's so much work looming before me (even with all of David's help packing, which has been such a blessing!).

But God has certainly provided, as He is so good at doing! Though this transition and the time frame have been challenging, we are so thankful for how God has and is preparing our path. Not only has He provided this home for this past season, but He is providing a wonderful new home for our family to enjoy, a church we are so excited about serving in, and many wonderful new friends (and even close "old" friends who are moving to Chilliwack now too to buy a larger house and attend the same church!).

I was reflecting to David about our upcoming move and what it means to me. As we were driving around Maple Ridge on some errands, it occurred to me in a new way that moving to Chilliwack would be a fresh start. It's not that Maple Ridge holds bad memories for me -- not at all. My memories of this town are many and varied, but overall very positive. Maple Ridge held a special place in Daniel's heart because that's where Timberline is. I grew to love this place too and the many friends I have here.

Living here, however, is emotionally taxing. No, I'm certainly not running away from my past. It's just that, given my history, Maple Ridge is full of triggers. Taking the same route towards the hospital that I drove one to three times a day for seven months, driving past the funeral home, seeing the sign to the cemetery -- and generally being blindsided by grief when I am not prepared, over and over again. That's been hard. And even the many, many good memories have turned bittersweet.

So, I think moving to a new city (and it's so new I'll still be using my GPS to get around for the first while), will be a wonderful way in which David and I can start building our own life together. Maple Ridge will remain special because it will represent my relationship with Daniel. And hopefully with time, the bittersweet aspect will be transformed to a settled sombre sweetness. And Chilliwack, I hope, will grow to represent this new season that God has so graciously provided.

And I do need to add that David has been, oh, so understanding. He has been patient with me during those triggers and bouts of grief, and has sought to comfort me and serve me. I am so thankful for him, and for how God has provided a husband who is not only devoted to me and the kids, but to learning how to serve God more by providing for our needs as a husband and father in a very specific situation.

And so, the countdown continues. I need to return to my packing, but I just want to end this post with something final to reflect on. Change and transition are happening to each and every one of you reading this. Some are small; some are big. Some are good changes; some are incredibly difficult and life-changing. But one thing remains the same: Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Heb. 13:8). Our trust in Him will never -- no, never -- be disappointed. Seek God's will and His desires as your first priority, and He will make your paths straight. No, they won't necessarily be easy, but the paths He leads us on will always do one thing -- bring Him glory, for He and He alone deserves it. Amen.

"Okay, kids, look at your mom!"

Wedding Day!

In just a few short hours, I will have the absolute honour and privilege of joining my life in marriage to my best friend, David. It amazes me how God has prepared David for this unique role -- to marry a widow and raise her children as his own. God has done a work in each of our lives since we met 15 months ago, and He has faithfully and gently knit our hearts together. I am so excited to be married to David! And I am incredibly thankful that my children will have a second father who loves them so much.

I praise God for His faithfulness in my life as He has brought me through so much in the last three years. I have seen His providence in both incredibly tragic suffering and in wonderfully enriching blessing.

Throughout Daniel's cancer, He sustained us.

Throughout Daniel's dying, He upheld us.

Throughout my grieving, He transformed me (and continues to).

Throughout my parenting as a single mom, He taught me.

Throughout my courtship with David, He lavished His grace on us.

Throughout these last few months especially, with the unexpected move coming up and planning for it, as well as my dad going home to Heaven just three weeks ago, God has been merciful, given us wisdom, and has prepared our way. (I am so glad my dad is free from his suffering from Alzheimer's).

And it is my prayer (if you will join me in praying) that throughout my marriage to David, He will bless us so that He will be further glorified.

We're Moving...Again?

It's been a very hectic past five weeks. David and I have been figuring out where we're going to live once we get married. But, you might be thinking, didn't I just finish building a house with my mom and move in last summer? Yes. So...why?

Well, to make a long story short, five weeks ago, my mom announced that she wants to move. Because of my dad's advancing Alzheimer's and his inability to be cared for at home, my mom wants to move to a retirement complex closer to where he is in Surrey. So, that means that since we both own this home, and David and I can't afford her share of the house, my family needs to move. That's not exactly what we were planning on; but to be fair, nor was my mom planning on my dad's health deteriorating so quickly.

So, the last five weeks David and I have spent discussing our next steps, finding out our options,  discerning where God wants us to be, and making big decisions. The two driving factors of our decision-making process have been family and church. We were looking for a place where we could afford a home that would satisfy our needs for raising our family long-term, and a place which had a solidly biblical church. Maple Ridge, we found out, was too expensive to live in for what we were looking for, so that eliminated that option.

A few weeks before my mom even brought this up, we had learned of a church we were especially interested in, but figured it was too far away to be feasible to attend. It was out in Chilliwack. But now with this forced move, we investigated both the church and the area's real estate market. Both factors were what we were looking for.

So, after much prayer, extensive research, and wise counsel, we are moving to Chilliwack at the end of May, a mere three weeks after we return from our honeymoon!

This house sold within a day (!), and we just removed subjects on a new home in Chilliwack. Whew! What a whirlwind! While there have been challenges along the way, we have clearly seen God at work in arranging countless details to make all of this happen so quickly. We are so thankful and give Him the glory!

As an interesting side-note, David was actually born in Chilliwack and lived there until he was nine. So, this is kind of like coming home for him in a way. It is a beautiful area, and has a strong home-schooling community, so we're looking forward to putting down our roots there.

While we are excited for this new, though unexpected, chapter, we are very sad to move away from so many close and wonderful friends. We are committed to keeping those connections and nurturing those friendships in whatever ways possible. (Even the ladies from my widows Bible study are willing to come all the way out there for our once a month meetings!). While Chilliwack is only an hour east of here, we know it won't be the same. But we trust that God has given us this opportunity in Chilliwack for a reason -- for His purposes and plan.